Guru Bob's relgious connections are somewhat vague. He is said to live at the Hare Krishna Temple at Albert Park in Melbourne, but at times he has also been a Sri Lankan, A Muslim, a Tibetan Reincarnate Lama, a Whurling Sufa Dervish and a Dancing Wu-Li Master. The Guru likes Kamahl records, has a band, 'The Guru's Hoodoos', is a Sanscrit Scrabble Champion and is on the board of the TAB (Temples Adninistration Board).
Guru Bob's expertise is based on the wisdom handed down from his master at the sect's secret temple. He stays in touch with the ever-changing world of football by viewing televised sport via a satellite dish on the roof of the temple - but nothing beats actually being there and the guru loves going to a game. During meditation classes he becomes so deeply relaxed he is able to employ his esoteric powers to transport himself, sitting cross-legged on his carpet, to the football match of his choice.
Apart from his radio work, Guru Bob is a prolific writer with numerous books to his credit, including his most widely acclaimed major works, A Collingwood Fan in Pakistan, Thrashed in the Wet Against Western Tibet Half-time Blue in Kathmandi.
A footy-fan taxi driver once told me in his cab that he had seen a truly spiritual apparition in the sky above an AFL match. This brought home to me that there is a point where spirituality and sport meet. And that is the point where dwells Guru Bob.
At the Coodabeen Champions radio programme, we are indeed blessed to have a friend as revered as Guru Bob. He has been the S.A.F.S. - Special Adviser on Football Spirituality - to the Coodabeens show since 1988. Each week he calls in religiously, to further enlighten us with a fundemental understanding of his creed:
'Life is football. Football is life. To live is to kick. That is all. No more questions.'
At the football, Guru Bob is invariably found, he says, 'just hovering above the half-back flank'. When asked how he arrives at his infallible deliberations, he reveals:
Greg Champion
It is very pleasing to have a book of Guru Bob's sayings, but in truth, I have nothing to offer you, only empty words. The wisdom is in your own heart.
Football is like a road that goes up for a while, then goes down, then flattens out. And there are times when too much football is too much. But very rarely. Sometimes you can learn more from a single Gary Ablett blind turn than from the whole of the Koran and the Prophet put together. We at the Temple study the AFL because, as a monk, you can't just sit around meditating all day - you have to get out and live it up a little.
My thanks go to my fellow monks for their inspiration: The Supreme master, Chris Krishna, Bogart Lo, Mafu, Knitwan Pearlwan, Sheik Yabuti, Cousin Omar, Allah Wayne Harmes, Exalted Highness Craig Turley, Mike McColl-Monk, Sri Rama Wasim Qasim Asif Iqbal, and the Wise Old Snail.
If Guru Bob has any wisdom, it is in the minds of Tony and Simon and Jeff and Ian and Greg, of the Coodabeen Champions. For you have to know football wisdom, to hear football wisdom.
Guru Bob