greg champion STAND BACK AUSTRALIA lyrics
CAN'T BE STUFFED
greg champion-nigel lawrence-colin buchanan
For Christmas I got lots of power tools and toys
grinders and sanders that make a lot of noise
now I can fix up anything, so professionally
and there’s only one thing stops me --
I can’t be stuffed, I can’t be stuffed!
When the going gets tough
you just gotta call their bluff
just say I don’t give a rats, and I can’t be stuffed
2.
I should have investments, get some stocks and bonds
get financial planning ‘bout where I’m goin’ wrong
dabble in the shares and stuff like everybody else
I should just wake up to myself - but ....
3.
My partner’s reading magazines, gettin’ ideas in her head
she said that we could spice things up if we spent more time in bed
she’s using terms like g-spot, and the tantric art of love
and I can see where all this is heading --and....
4.
I went to work this morning, the boss walked up to me
she said “good news, you’re due for your long service leave
we’re sending you on an all-expenses holiday,
and eighteen months off, on full pay” -- said.....
5.
The plumbing’s cracked a gasket and the roof leaks like a sieve
the house has been condemned and we’ve got nowhere else to live
And grandma’s adenoids are shot, she needs urgent surgery
everybody’s counting on me -- and I’d fix it all today --
there’s just one thing in my way --
OUTRO:
when the washing up is piling up, and the tv’s on the blink
just pop your tracky pants on and pour yourself a drink
when the going gets tough you just gotta call their bluff
say I don’t give a rats and I can’t be stuffed
HANKY PANKY
greg champion
Run run run run jog jog jog
there’s one born every minute
well I’m not convinced about
all this life be in it
whenever I feel run down
when I get tired and cranky
I find I cheer up best
with a spot of hanky panky
CH:
Hanky panky, when you’re feeling cranky
don’t be grumpy,
just stop and smile, relax a while
and try some rumpy pumpy
Now Delilah took to Samson’s hair
and she chopped it with a knife
it sounds like they
must’ve had a
tempestuous love life
When Cleopatra wanted Mark
Anthony’s reaction
it seemed she often opted for
horizontal action
Hiking, camping, outdoor sports
all that stuff’s too risky
studies show, most of the time
everyone feels frisky
I know I should try to be
pure devout and holy
but now and then, you can still squeeze in
a spot of roly poly
THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL BEER
greg champion-brent parlane-jim haynes
1.
I have drunk mountain water
from a cool crystal stream
and it left me oh so purified
wholesome, sober and clean
I have sampled many a fancy grog
of the finest quality
but this cool drink
I hold in my hand
tastes just about perfect to me,
and I tell you
chorus
That is a beautiful beer, oh
that is a beautiful beer
I’ve had some beaut ones some rooty toot toot ones, but
that is a beautiful beer
2.
Red ones green ones blue or white
there’s favourites in every state
and this one’s good and this one’s better
and that one’s really great
and the light beers today taste terrific
the equal of heavy, I say
and I love the Tassie and Kiwi brews
and the wheat beers of W.A.
BR:
There are those who know merlot from pinot
they fancy a fine drop of plonk
I do not know a vintage Bordeaux
from a discounted sauvignon blanc
3.
And I don’t go much on the spirits and stuff
I avoid the vodkas and gins
ah, but everything can be dangerous
and we’re all gonna die in the end, and I tell you
CH II: ....I’ve had some top ones, some how-do-I-stop ones....
CH III: ....I’ve had some ace ones, some right in your face ones....
CH IV: ....I’ve had some great booze, some absolute lulus, but....
I MADE A 100 – match-fixing version
As I went out to have
a bat just the other day
A kid came up and
offered me five dollars not to play
If I got my friends
involved he said he'd pay me more
And then he said he's
double it if I hit a losing score
And that's how I made
a 100 in the backyard at mum's
Those backyard
bookmakers they're starting 'em young
All ya gotta do is
make the right amount of runs
And you too can make
a 100 in the backyard at mum's
The kid who set it up
and organised the whole event
Was boasting of
connections on the Sub-Continent
When the match began
he stood at fine leg all alone
Taking calls from
India on his mobile phone
And that's how I made
several 100 in the backyard at mum's
Those backyard
bookmakers they're starting 'em young
All ya gotta do is
make the right amount of runs
And you can make a
packet in the backyard at mum's
Everyone's cleanin'
up in the backyard at mum's!
THE FRENCH SONG
piaf/louiguy(music sales/amcos)
these lyrics: Divishti Rankine & Greg Champion
Pate escargots soup de jour
cordon bleu chic coiffure
fait accompli maison
creme de menthe Marcel Marceau
meringue blancmange Bardot
gauche gay Paris garcon
gendarme agent provocateur
eau de toilette voyeur
au revoir deja vu
carte blanche bidet croissant bourgeois
c’est la vie abattoir
bon voyage coup d’etat
hors d’ouevres Peugeot faux pas
Gerard Depardieux
Lacoste penache papier mache
en suite rue morgue yoplait
Pepe La Pew souffle
en tous cas le Guy Forget
Maurice Chevalier
le Rainbow Warrior
lingerie chocolat eclair
avant garde Frigidaire
fromage crouton Cointreau
cherchez la femme boudoir je t’aime
vol ou vent Jacques Cousteau
joie de vive Plastic Bertrand
le Coq Sportif
penchant
Henri Leconte